Tolerance

I've been in a rough patch with my parents. Actually no I've been on a roller coaster with them. I've been stuck in the same theme park for a long time and it's getting old, and so am I. My hand doesn't need to be held, I wasn't raised like that. Compassionate I can be, but don't expect it from me when hugs and kisses are no where to be found in my memories. All I remember was my whys being pushed aside and how you know best. You made me feel like I had no right to ask questions or they were stupid and I should already know better. 

Freedom wasn't in your memo until I was old enough to still not know right from wrong. Age is just a # is it not? You and dad are 10 years apart. Wisdom comes with experience not age, that's why I can live happy like I wasn't robbed of my childhood. But it seems like you guys lost your individuality years ago. You can't think for yourself, you only want me to follow the pack. You trust the news and these shit schools. Success is monetary? I'm not looking to be secure. I'm already sure of myself and the self I aim to be. A degree in bullshit and a job with a pathetic "salary". No thanks. I'm not here to be safe. I'm not here to be comfortable. I'm not here to solely survive.

I'm here to make a difference. I'm here trying to figure things out and your views are too narrow. The only thing I'm really trying to figure out is when I'm going to leave these chains that hold me back from who I really want to be. I feel like there's a dragon breathing down my neck every step that I move forward. Always being criticized for every little thing I do. 

We're different and I knew that from the start. So don't be surprised if this "family" falls apart. I'm far from selfish, I don't just think about me, I don't just think about our family. It's that mentality that "my family is more important than yours" is what separates us humans. I think about the future generations, the planet, and the direction we're headed in as a species. 

I hate the rulers of our country and instead of mindlessly conforming, I'm going to break my back to accomplish my goals. All you do is pray for me but you have no faith in me. You're supposed to by #1 fans but you don't even respect my #1 plan. I know you care about me and want to protect me but there's an art to letting go & you should learn it. Playing it safe is not who I am. I am not going to follow in your footsteps. You are both wonderful but I can do without the constant criticism, lectures, and hate for my interests and personal path. And a curfew for an adult is kind of silly. In terms of wisdom I have already surpassed you. I have a firm grasp over my emotions and don't say things I don't mean. I am a divergent thinker with a love for deductive reasoning. I am spiritual, something which neither of you can grasp. 

I'm not angry or upset. These are just thoughts and feelings that I'm aware of. You won't lose me as your son, I don't hate you and there will always be love. But until you understand me like the way I understand you...This bridge of disappointment will still be here. I don't hold grudges so I hope you burn the bridge soon.