Tears & worthiness

Hey Dad,

I want to start off by saying that you are an amazing person. I admire your hard work, dedication, commitment and selflessness. It inspires me and I always wonder how you're able to continue to do what you do in order to make sure we are safe. You've made me think about a lot of things, about who I am and our family these past few years. I never understood much of any of it growing up. I really like when you open up to me about how you feel and share your thoughts and perspective on what you believe. It's those moments where I feel like I'm connecting with you. Whether I get in trouble and you're telling me what I did wrong or should have thought about more clearly or when you give your perspective on a situation. I like when you do that because that's when I see you express yourself the most and that's the side of you I don't get to see often which I wish I could see more of. You're really intelligent when you speak and I look up to that, I just wish other people could witness it too.  When you take the time to talk to me or express concern I feel like we connect more, and I get to see what you're thinking. And sometimes when you talk to me about things, I find a new reason to become a better person. I know how much you value mom and this family. I know how much you want for me and Kyle. I'm grateful to have you even though I'm really not the best at showing how appreciative I am. Everything I do now is not only for myself but for you, for mom, for Kyle and for the whole world. I dream big because you and mom came from a very bad place. I understand the pain of having to work a job that isn't your dream. I understand that the same old routine can wear you out. I understand that nothing is easy and that's why I can't aim low. I don't want to continue to see you and mom struggle. And I know the answer to all my prayers is following what makes me the happiest. Because I learned on my own that when I'm happy doing something, I will do everything in my power to keep getting better at it and to find many ways, not just one way, to be successful. I learned the importance of risk. You and mom took a risk to come to America in order to live a better life. I'm not afraid to take risks and step outside of the lines because I know what it takes to be successful. I know you still don't agree with my career path. But I know deep down in my soul, what ever I choose to do, whether or not you and mom believe in me, I will make it, I have to make it, there's no other way for me. I do research like it's my home work, I'm learning about music and the music industry, I practice my management skills every day. And I'm so happy, I don't care about having a lot because I learned that being rich isn't about how much you have, but how much you can give. I don't care about having a bunch of stuff and I do my best to never ask you or mom for anything either because I know that what keeps me happy is all the stuff I'm doing right now. I want to be able to retire you and mom by doing what I love or inspire you to chase your real dreams because we all have them.

Even though we can't agree on everything, I want you to always know how much I appreciate and love you. Because I wouldn't be able to do anything I'm doing without you. I want you to be happy for my happiness. And I want you to be happy without worrying about anything. You're very important to me and I promise that I will make you proud, my way. I know it's probably not something I should talk about but some times it's hard when the two most important people in my life are supposed to be my biggest fans are never in the audience, it bothers me. And it's cause I'm around other kids who are my students and I see how supportive the parents are of their child, they always say "no matter what my kid chooses to do, I will support them all the way". And when I hear that, and when I see tears run down the face of a parent who's kid is on stage doing their best, I don't know how to feel. So I just don't feel. I think being emotional is stupid because it makes me look weak, and I shouldn't be weak over things like that. That's what I always tell myself, but some times I just wish you could see my progress as a teacher, my progress as a business man, my progress as someone who just wants your support because you care about my happiness and not just my success.

I hope we can both be on the same page one day. Thank you for everything you've done and everything you will continue to do.

I love you.

Your son Vattana R. Thach